I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize