Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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