i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
