): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
