What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
