I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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