it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
