Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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