Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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