My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
