I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
