Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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