So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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