Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize