what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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