I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
