You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
