Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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