Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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