umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
