Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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