Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
