But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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