I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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