he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
