In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
