I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
