Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize