She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
