Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Come on in and take your pants off
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