So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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