My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
