is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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