she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
