Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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