I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
