worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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