WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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