You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
