I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
