And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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