Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
