the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
