Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
not ubering you a puppy
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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