I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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