Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
