everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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