As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
