I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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