My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
