Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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