Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
