Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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