How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
