Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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