Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hippo gnu deer
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
