I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
