would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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