Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
