My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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