my mouth tastes like poor choices
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
