Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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