Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
