I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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