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I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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