Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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